After Your absence

After Your absence

I always remember you, even though I know it hurts ..
I open my phone, nothing else you ever meet my inbox, no more saying good morning and good night for me. No more jokes laughter that always mengiriku in happiness, no more jokes that made tartawa. No more eyes that made my heart beat and soothing. No more hand grips that always make me strong will any problem to me. No more arms that made me feel safe and at ease close to you. Now, now there's something missing, is not the same as before.
I hope my days will run smoothly as usual., Although none beside you. Now, I try to get through all my activities as usual. And I could live it all though my heart feels empty, hollow without you is with me every day. But, I have to stay strong with all of this. After your departure, I realized how much I love you. Upon departure, you robbed all the love and happiness that I have, fled to a foreign place just did not know where his whereabouts. Siksaanmu so great for me, and I was too weak to get this ordeal, I was too weak to get the scar on the back of my mind that is increasingly growing.
Now I realized she was not so sincere love me, but ye have loved me and loved me sincerely without any lies. Honestly, I regret having you really going to leave me here with your shadow. I'm sorry to have to disappoint you, but I did not mean to disappoint you. I'm sorry I prefer him in the appeal you obviously beloved. It was obvious he was a playboy and has been hurt over and over again with all the lies and false promises, but you're different, you're so look after me, love me, and I just wasted. Why am I so stupid?
I never reply to all your kindness to me, and I never ever love you like you love me. In fact I always vent all the anger you, and strangely you were to apologize to me. Sometimes I lie sometimes I go out with him unbeknownst to you, and that means I'm playing behind you. Every time you wanted to see me, I often refuse. But why I can not resist him whenever he wants to see me? Even if you mengajaku back together, I do not want and refuse. I prefer to go home with my friends. I realized it was all wrong, but why do I keep repeating it back? You once said that I was selfish, I do not accept you talk like that to me, and I'm angry. I realized I was selfish, really say.
He always do what my will, but I never do what you want. Until a few weeks later you stay away, you disappear from my life, you did not send me the news at all. It made me angry and I think you decided unilaterally me, without knowing what the problem is. Then, you call me on the day jadianku with you. Somehow I became hate you, probably because you're missing a couple of weeks. You mengajaku date night this week, but I refused because you're not my boyfriend anymore. I tell you, you better get out of my life do not ever call me again, look for other women out there who are better than me. But in fact you even apologized to me for the mistake yesterday was away from me. You said you just wanted to testing me. But this is not the right way. I can not forgive you, I will not give you another chance. And that means now you and I are only a friend. When in fact I hate the separation.
For some reason if I remember it all, thousands of regret always came up. Are you hurt because of me?
We were like hurt each other, like each other a grudge without knowing what the real issues.
I was crying uncontrollably in the quietness of the night, on the grounds that I was true love. I feel lost hero figure. While I always see you close with other women, and why women should be my own? You never know that I'm here to see you cry with him, I'm jealous ..
I'm mad at myself, why do I find it hard to forget you? While you're there with ease melupakanku.Tuhan .. it is not fair to me. I feel like memory loss, so I did not recognize you and memories can be erased once in memory my brain. That is the only way for now. Day by day, I continue to live my life without you. And I felt the day I have always regretted my fault you. Are you there already have a replacement myself? I hope you still expect me, because I always expect your presence here dihidupku again. Are you always thinking about there? Like me who is always thinking about you. I just wanted to know what was in your heart today. Have you never thought about my heart today? which is increasingly cloudy because there is no longer shining on my heart.
In my dreams you're always there for me, and you're mine. But it turns out, in real life, you're just a dream for me and I reach you back harder. There is nothing that can stand in addition to letting me go and merelakanmu for someone else worth menapatkanmu. I'm trying to enjoy my misery, my kesakitanku to get used to all those things. I always shed a tear for you, but every grain had tears running down it the more I miss you and it's hard to forget. Now I feel in love with you that is not mine anymore.
But I have a God, have family and friends, who are always there for me. I believe in God .. God're testing my patience today, and certainly no way out behind it all. Maybe in my eyes you are the best for me, but not necessarily the word of God you are the best for me. I believe in God and believe that scenario is the most beautiful.Completed